Let’s Talk…

Instead of thinking “resolution”, how about TRANSFORMATION? Developing and acquiring new skills and stepping out of our comfort zone to reach our full potential. Doesn’t that sound better? Working on DEVELOPING ourselves in a positive manner rather than proclaiming we are going to do something that we have no intention of doing.

Here we are, the beginning of a NEW year! Do you find that to ge encouraging or exhausting? For many people, January 1st each year is a time to start over. A FRESH start. It’s like we consider a calendar year as being broken down into 12 chapters and those 12 chapters become a book with the year as a title “Mama P 2023”. There is a beginning and an end to each book, but many STORIES occupy those pages. There is not just one beginning though, we have so MANY beginnings throughout the year.

You see it everywhere, on shirts, posters, billboard, etc. You know, the statement “Be Kind” or the one I as a beekeeper prefer “Bee Kind”. It seems that everywhere we go there it is, that statement, a REMINDER, to be kind. Why? Why do we need to be reminded to ACT with kindness? Why do we have to have something spark that character trait within us? Why can’t we just do it - just be kind?

Do you get so caught up in the day-to-day routines that you forget to take TIME for yourself? Do you feel like taffy being pulled from one role you play in life to the next, and next, and next? Sometimes in that taffy-pulling process you can FORGET to take time to breathe. You forget about taking care of yourself because you are focused on taking care of others and trying to JUGGLE family and career.

Do you sometimes drive yourself CRAZY with the things you do?  I sure do!  Sometimes I think my brain is just in overdrive.  I get an IDEA to do something and it just keeps going and building from that tiny snowball of an idea into an enormous, watch-out-because-this thing-is-going-to-knock-you-over snowball!  

Life happens in stages, phases, chapters, whatever you want to call it, and none of them last forever. Stages and phases are typically used to describe the DEVELOPMENT of something, whether a human, animal, plant, etc., but they can both be used for adults as well since throughout life we are developing - mentally, physically, socially. And every phase of life has a LESSON to teach you. You need to learn the lessons and grow from them, but then let go of that phase so you can move on in your GROWTH and focus on the present phase of your life. Live, learn, and move on.

Lifelong learning, physical and mental health, having a sense of PURPOSE and achievement, and overall wellness. These are all vital to a healthy life at ALL stages of life! Wellness does not just entail nutrition and exercise, there really is so much more to it. And thank goodness, because just the IDEA of nutrition and exercise can be more than some people can handle so they immediately feel deflated. Let’s think out of the box for a minute. What about learning a new SKILL, taking up a new hobby, finally doing something on your “bucket list”? Enjoying a newfound sense of achievement can help you to REGAIN your sense of purpose while improving your physical and mental health.

Let’s face it, life is HECTIC! It seems like there is rarely a free moment to just relax. When it comes to holidays, well, that can not only be OVERWHELMING and nerve racking, it can be almost impossible to get everyone together. Everyone has their "place to go” for each holiday and a lot of people become the ROPE in a major tug-of-war event with families on his side and her side - everyone wants you at the same time! You become emotionally and physically exhausted and may even dread or RESENT holidays because of it.

We all encounter storms in our lives. Nobody is immune to them. But how we RESPOND to those storms . . . well that’s our choice. Completely. TOTALLY. Nobody can force you to stand in the rain and get soaking wet. Nobody can force you to dance in the storm or rainfall of life. There always has been and always will be storms. But there also always has been and always will be bright, sunny, warm days. We have to take the good with the bad, the sunshine with the rain. Unless we experience the rain and storms, we can’t fully APPRECIATE the sunshine.

A goal, according to the Oxford Languages Dictionary, is “the object of a person’s ambition or effort; an aim or desired result”. We all have goals, right? Or are they just DREAMS? Do they have your full mental investment? Goals take time and, let’s face it, the world is in such a hurry to get . . . NOWHERE. Our lives are so rushed, so full of demands from all directions. There’s no time for a personal goal. That would take too much EFFORT. That’s just absurd! At least for me, it's the goals I have that keep me going, that keep me FOCUSED. If you don’t have a goal, you could spend your life running around that darn hamster wheel and getting nowhere. Just running, running, running and never making any progress. You’d just wear yourself out, physically and mentally.

“A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it, it just blooms.” ~ Zin Shin

I like to COMPARE - prices, brands, what shirts go best with a pair of pants, different colors of lipstick, and on and on. But then, if I’m not careful, I start comparing MYSELF to others. I think we all are guilty of comparing ourselves to others, but I feel that women especially have a hard time with it! Why? I think a big part of it has to do with society telling us we should look a certain way and if we don’t we are “less than”. I’ll bet those SAME women we are comparing ourselves to also compare themselves to others. It’s a VICIOUS cycle! Why do we fall into that trap? When we start comparing our looks or situations, or lives in general to someone else, we start down that dark ROAD of loneliness that seems to have no end.

So basically, if you are volunteering, you are giving of your time to perform a service of some type on your own FREE WILL. If you are helping, you are basically providing what is necessary for someone to accomplish a TASK.

How about doing a random act of kindness, no expectations, just looking for an opportunity (or not OVERLOOKING an opportunity) to help someone - no strings attached? Is someone looking for volunteers and you happen to be available? Why not give it a try and see how EMPOWERED you feel that you made a difference - because you DID! If you are in an organization that wants you to report volunteer hours, maybe try thinking of it as being valued because you are PRICELESS - because you are!

“Grief doesn’t have an expiration date. It’s not like a loaf of bread that’s fresh for a week or so and then slowly molds and crumbles away into nothing. Grief is resilient. It perseveres. It doesn’t give up. Ever.” ~ John Onwuchekwa

“GRIEF TRIGGERS”. What? You know, when all of a sudden, out of nowhere when your mind is OVERCOME with something that rekindles an emotion, OVERWHELMED and all consuming. Emotions that create FEELINGS of sadness, longing, regret, thoughts of “if only”. These unexpected triggers can pop up so fast, catching you off guard and triggering an overflowing surge of EMOTIONS. I was just driving along and all of a sudden grief triggers dominated me. All of the MEMORIES flooding my mind. I had no control. I tried to shake it off, but to no avail. My eyes were filled and overflowing those MEMORIES down my cheeks. It’s been 10 ½ years - YEARS, and yet it just comes out of nowhere.

Do you ever feel like “will anybody ever remember me when I’m gone?”? I have that feeling swirl its way through my THOUGHTS every now and again. I’m not really sure why. I guess it’s just that sometimes I feel like I’m just going through the MOTIONS. I wake up and go through pretty much the same MUNDANE routines each day and then I go to bed only to do it again. That’s okay, there’s a lot of beauty in ORDINARY days. But I know there’s a reason for me being here, a PURPOSE God has for me in the big picture of life.

BANTERING, good-humored teasing they say. A one-way or back-and-forth conversation with someone in a “seemingly” lighthearted and WITTY manner that is meant to be funny and not serious. But is it? Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me. Whoever came up with that was in DENIAL, because words can not only hurt, they can mutilate, cause irreparable damage, bring about agonizing and excruciating PAIN! No, words themselves don’t have the POWER to hurt you. But we give them power. They cannot be unheard, unfelt. They were said with intention, even if it was meant as good-humored TEASING.